Some Deep Thoughts

Jack handy was quite a smart guy. Here are a few of my favorite "thoughta" of his. I was trying to tell one of my classmates the Mone/Manet - joke but failed miserably. So now i'll let Jack take from here. (Also i was too lazy to think of a topic to write about, i'm a stressed out English student, i have a good execuse)!


I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus's-flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition. This thought reminds me of my abilities as a storyteller.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me. This is the one i completely muddled up today!

Shaving it's Powerful

There is an abundance of barber shops around where i live (i counted at least five in the vicinity of 4 blocks)! Yesterday, it was a particular cold day and i found myself standing outside of one thinking how if i was a guy i would have loved to have gone in and have a real barber shop style shave. The whole ritual of the the sharp blade (a bit dangerous and thus exciting) and the hot towel (especially comforting on a cold day) - seemed so enticing.

When i was a little girl i loved seeing my dad shaving in the mirror. He used to have one of those shaving brushes, with which he used to dab a bit of shaving cream on my nose with. Then i would watch, mesmerized, as he methodically removed the white foam from his face. I loved it.

I still love seeing men shave. In a film that came a few years ago, L.I.E., there is a very loving and at the same time creepy scene central to the movie where of one of the main characters shaves another character (Big John shaving Howie). The film deals isolation and the break down of family - it does it through portrayak pedophilia. Heavy stuff, worth checking out.

This link is thanks to Jessica at the New Vintage. Sadly i don't remember Rerun. I have always identified with Charlie Brown.


You are Rerun!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
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Comments Meter is Busted

Haloscan seems not to be working properly. Leave your comments anyway, i look forward to guessing if the comment meter is right or wrong!

Cobblestones

In recent e-mails to friends, i have intimated that i really love walking on cobblestone streets. I lied. Although they are picturesque and fill me with the wonder of the past, they are terrible to walk on and cause me to fall down and stumble quite a bit.

the political climate

At the moment my political thoughts are a bit fuzzy, i used to think i'm a Democrat. Now i tend to agree with some of the Republican platform. So i guess the best way to think of myself is an independent - deciding on the candidate and not on the party platform. Saying all that - i have increasingly sensitive to people bashing Republicans - since a lot of my friends are Republicans - and i don't think of them as evil, corrupt, heartless people.
So today in my English Lit. 2 class when my (Scottish) Professor lectured us on the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution - he said some rather bizarre things that made a wee bit annoyed. One: he read off a comment by Benjamin Franklin about the inevitability of our country (USA) to sooner or later succumb to despotism - brought on by human greed. A comment he justified by pointing out the state of America now. And then later in talking about what Jefferson remarking he was a Republican - but, don't worry, not that kind of Republican - expecting people to laugh.
It's as though it was perfectly clear to him, America is unwinding and the current Republicans could never be associated with such an enlightened man as Thomas Jefferson.
And then this morning when talking about the weirdness of being in a country where the Royal family is still relevant - another Professor tells me that Americans are no better since we have our own monarchy - the Bushes - and then proceeds to tell he likes Boston (the lovely city i live in) because it's so "liberal."

articulation of my opinion

A lot of times when discussing the Middle East conflict i come accross conversations such as the one described in the article posted by Ace of Spades. Check out his post on it. It makes me so angry when people revert to the East/West argument. We are all people! You're not respecting someone's culture by justifying murder.

therapy 101

There's nothing like Etta James performing "At Last." Even though the lyrics are a bit ridiculous - it still does the trick of making me feel a bit better. I know there is such a thing as adjustment period when you get to a new place, and guess i'm in that period. All the reflecting i did yesterday left me a bit drained and disappointed again. Seeing 21 Grams didn't help matters. So now i get to bitch on my blog. Thank you internet. Ok enough. And now i'm going to get a glass of scotch, you know they got that here in Scotland.

Your name means what?

The story of my name:
How i came to be known by : Funny, Fagile (little bird= gay boy), Fannl, Fanny (= butt), Lisa, Funny, Funnya, Fanny (= vagina).

When i was born in Leningrad, Russia my parents decided to name me after my Father's grandmother whose diminutive name was Fanya. The official Russian name was Faina - a name my mother detested. So there was a compromise, without knowing a word of English my parents decided to name me Funny (Fani). In another twist of fate they gave me the wrong Jewish name, instead a name that means beautiful i got stuck with Fagile - which roughly translates as "little bird" and in today's Israeli is a slang term for a gay boy. I had an auspicious start.

When we emigrated to United States the people at INS were so competent that they spelled my name this way: FANNL. When i got to my third grade class it was changed to Fanny. In the American English "fanny" is an outdated old ladies name that has come to be an endearing way of referring to someone's ass. Since everyone knows how sweet and accepting eight year-olds can be, i soon decided to look for a new name. I decided on Lisa. I wish i can say that i decided on the name inspired by a Simpsons episode, but alas it was because of another critically acclaimed we all remember as Saved by the Bell. I blissfully walked around as Lisa for a few months, until my parents had a teacher - parent conference. Throughout the conference my teacher kept referring to me as Lisa, when my parents objected in their broken English - claiming they "had not daughter named Lisa." That night Lisa became Funny also to be known as Funnya. And ever since then i have been explaining the progression of my name. However having come to Scotland there is a new chapter to be written in my name history.

I was telling a Scottish girl my woeful tale - when she stopped me. "Fanny?" she asked.
"Well here it doesn't mean 'butt,'"
"What does it mean?" I asked.
"It's a slang term for female genitalia."
It couldn't get better then that. And by "better" i mean worse.
Later that week i was waiting in yet another queue - i sparked a conversation with a Belgian guy. Somehow i ended relying the last part of the story. We both had a laugh when he didn't quite understand when i said "vagina."
A week goes by and i'm in the international student coffee event (don't ask) and i see the Belgian (Nicholas) - i come over to a group of people his standing with at which points he introduces me to his friends by saying,
"This is Funnya," - i'm surprised that his remembers my name most people don't - then i realize why he remembers when he continues - "her name means...."
Oh gawd, my face turns red and i proceed to say that "y name means no such thing" and quickly walk away.

So now you know.

Pet Peeve

So i was browsing some blogs and i noticed some irritating trends:
- the extremely bright colors
- too much information, randomly scattered on the page
- peoples' complete disregard for grammar
- people using such acronyms as lol or using such things as "ur" for "your" or "you're"
- or writings such things as "u know it girrrlfriend!!!" with another ten thousand exclamation marks added on
Ugh. Puke.

Disclaimer: I know that in the past many of my posts have not been examples of coherent grammar. So i ask to just deal with my hypocrisy.

a little survey

I am thinking of in the future going by the spelling of "Fanya" instead of "Funnya" - i knid of think that the "Fanya" is easier for people to comprehend. However "Funnya" is a bit more interesting and creates a challenge and allows me to tell a story about the how i came to be called this way. What do you guys think should i change it?

Question

I've been thinking a bit about the politics of sex. More specifically what makes one an "ideal" mate - or what do we seek in a mate? Sometimes when i hear different people descibe their ideal mate, what they end up describing the typical characteristics of their own sex. For example, many girls want a guy who is sensitive, can cook, likes going to the theater, takes care of his looks. Or in case of a guy; a girl who he can bounce off fart jokes on, discuss the intricacies of his favorite football/baseball team, and party like a rock star. Maybe i am simplifying things but it seems like if you take a girl put her in a cute boys body then you would have that stereotypically perfect mate that women so often talk about.

Just read friendster testimonials - explaining why this or that person is who you really want to get with - most of them read like you want him/her because they like the same things you do. I have prided my self on being a "tomboy" and on having guy friends - but in reality is that a ploy to be more attractive? Maybe in reality we want to get it on with our own sex and just so happen that (for obvious reasons of procreation) are attracted to the opposite sex? I don't know any girls who want a sissy boyfriend or a guy who wants a really butch girlfriend - but there is a need to find someone like yourself.

I heard John Gottman of http://www.smartmarriages.com/ on the radio, comparing homosexual couples' vs. Heterosexual couples' success rates. The results suggest homosexual couples are more successful on average than heterosexual couples - suggesting that a man understands a man better and a women understands a woman better. In English literature there is a long tradition of homosexual expressions of love. Marlowe wrote a poem about the limitations of love between men - how sad to have to be with a woman. Basically an ideal woman is a man. Maybe he had a point. I don't know.

Personally, at the moment my one requirement is that the guy surprises me, other than that i'm clueless.

Captain Kirk has a new Album

Esquire interviewed William Shatner on the release of his new CD. To tell the truth i was intrigued. Ben Folds arranged the music.

the irrtitating mother f*&%& blog!

Ok so i posted about four recent entries - expecting to get lovely comments from the three people who read this pathetic excuses of a blog. But noooo, blogger just won't publish. It looks like it has published but only i have seen it. A la"i see dead people" - "i see my posts" It's sooo irritating, especially since i am in a foreign country and need all the love i can get.

Sounds dirty but isn't

I had the best damn tasting banana today. It was of the childhood-russian-summer variety banana which i wrote about a while back. It was yummy and made my crapy day a bit less crapful.
Here's the old post:


12:15 am - bannana stories
I was driving today and suddenly i smelled the strongest phantom smell of sweet bananas. That got me thinking of my childhood. You see, while growing up in the Motherland (Russia), bananas were a rare occasion, and every time i got to eat a banana it was a fantastical experience. I remember one summer, my dad brought a whole box of bananas to our dacha. It was so exciting to think i would be able to eat real bananas (not the small pathetic dried bananas). There is no adequate description i can offer in describing how good this precious fruits tasted. There was a special aroma and texture- basically indescribable. The thrill of eating bananas soon left me ater we arrived in the US. They lost their appeal (as did apples), however sometimes i'll bite into a just-right-banana and the pleasure i felt as a little kid overwhelms me, and i am brought to the happiness that was my childhood. Anyways, they say that smell is the strongest trigger of memory. I still sometimes wish i can look at certain foods and have the same feelings when i was a deprived child in Russia. Every good thing seemed to mean more. Maybe it's the huge consumer culture of America or maybe it's me growing up- but rarely does simple food excite me (although when i see cherries....watch out).
Another thing bananas remind me off is an incident that happened when i was in high school. I was sitting in and extremely hot class room, sometimes when it's hot my hands get itchy. I had a cool banana in my backpack. So i innocently pulled it put and held the banana in my hand (to cool my hands). Anyways, several of my friends claim that it wasn't that innocent. Especially since the class i was in was being taught by a teacher who i had a crush in. A little Freudian slip? I think not, but others claim it was pretty risque gesture. But my hands were hot!
It sounds more funny when my friend Phil tells the story - ok, well till the next perfect banana - me.

Lack of sleep and conversation with my lesbian roommate...

that is what motivating this post. I don't have my own personal PC in Edinburgh so i am blogging from a computer lab. There is guy next to me who decided to secretly eat an orange by peeling it under the desk - too bad the citrus smell is overwhelming the near vicinity. At first when i looked at him i thought he was doing something dirty down there. Dirty thoughts are all that seem to appear in my brain.
I was talking to my sexually confused roommate (she likes girls but it's hard for her to fully admit it - especially to herself) about the spectrum of sexuality. I definitely believe that it's possible for people to fall in love for the sex they are not dominantly attracted to - but i think the occurrence is rare and shouldn't be counted on (or hoped for). So i was telling her how i consider myself heterosexual but i noticed that i check out other girls' chests a lot. Today i noticed i moved form boobs to legs - a perfect pair of legs is hard to find - Pushkin worth some verse about it. Anyway, i feel a bit like a perve, writing about this. I don't think my fascination is sexual, it's more wishful thinking for myself - but who knows - i'm not envious of the boobs, but get quite dreamy when i see a pair of perfectly sculpted legs, they are harder to come by then one would think.
I will now stop with this rubbish and go eat.

Monkey - a funny animal, a funny word, funny all around

Not only can monkeys walk upright (israeli monkey that is!), but they can also be a good preotection device for your automobile.

i'm away again

Here i am in Edinburgh, Scotland. It's beautiful and exciting and i am starting to feel like a freshman again (fresher as they say here). I live in a lovely apartment - with four other girls (ages 18/19) so i am like the apartment grandmother - one girl (Miu (pronounced "my") from Japan) has decided to refer to me as mother - heresy! i say - i do not give off motherly vibes, i'm sexy and adventurous - or something. Did you know Edinburgh is built on an extinct volcano - at least i hope it's extinct - you learn something new everyday.
In other news Ken used one of my favorite jokes in a post. And people keep telling me i'm not funny (but i am - haha get it, because of my name - ok i'll stop). In other pirate related news, Dave Eggers supposedly opened a Pirate Themed shop - so trendy. Now that i caught up in all my blogging and e-mail reading i am off to the loo (as they say here, when you ask for a bathroom they just look at you funny) and then some home made Japanese food. I'll write better/intersting/gramatically correct posts soon.
Some topics:
- celebrating the Jewish New Year in a Church
- censoring some of my i love American views
- feeling old with all the little girlies
- feeling annoyed that i have to act like a freshman
- feeling a second class student - when i find out all my classes have been purged and can't be replaced

Did you miss me?

I have been in Edinburgh for two days. It's incredible to be here - the people are warm and the weather isn't that bad (sunny spurts!) I feel a bit like a freshman (i'm living with four of them!) OK when i have time i will blog. For the people of the Jewish persuasion Happy New Year (Shonah Tova!)

Oh memories of Birthright....

What happens when you mix free alcohol, sexually frustrated young Jews, and an airplane - apparently this. Reminds me of my own experience not too long ago.

Via http://www.theviewfromhere.net/

I have discovered how to post pictures! But seriously...

In May, while spending a rainy day with a friend of mine from Italy, i stumbled on Arden Gallery on Newbury Street - there i found the art of Sebastian Picker. In his golden brown hue paintings i saw my own thoughts and feelings reflected back at me. There is something comforting and sad about his art. It was very much to my liking. Here is a sampling - one of my favorite paintings - it reminded me of my reaction to what occurred a few days ago in Beslan, Russia.

He's One Popular Dude!

I was inspired by Dead Serious' hilarious link. Nothing like Spider Man to inspire you in the bathroom. He's nerdy and brave! Anyway someone had a little bit too much time on their hands. I got this picture in an e-mail - enjoy.

What would you be?

I think if people were what they ate i would be a chicken. That's right i'm a chicken. I was thinking that a few days of the month i would be steak and chocolate. But mostly i end up a chicken, since that's what i eat most frequently. What would you be?

when will the news stop making me cry?

I was driving today, on this gorgeous September day, listening to the horrific descriptions of what happend today in Beslan, Russia and couldn't stop crying. This is not the first time while listening to the current events i have lost it. Terrible. I have no words.

random rant about shit no one cares about

I saw a few minutes of some actress talking about her new movie called Paparazzi. She going on and on, on how refreshing and new the material was and that's why she was so excited to be part of this movie. Ya, ok. A movie about an celeberity who when pushed a little too far by the evil paparazzi, decides to kill them. Wow, how deep and thought provoking - more like car chases and predictable plot lines and dialogue. I wish celebrities can just tell the fucking truth. For example: i needed the money, no one else was offering me anything good - whatever, just don't make up shit - like the shittiest screen play moved you or made you think.

On another movie note, right before Before Sunset started, i saw preview for Testosterone, from what i can gather it has a lot of hot guy on guy sex scenes, which i am all for. I couldn't place the lead actor, until i realized he played in a really pathetic ABC sitcom last season called I'm with Her. Weird to see actors doing two completely different types of material.

"the possibility that they missed a lifetime they were intended to spent together"

That sentence comes from Roger Ebert describing Before Sunset a film i saw tonight with Jessica. It was exactly what i expected and more. The familiar Linklater trademarks - the over philosophizing of life, the aimless walking, and the conclusion without an actual conclusion. The film achieved an real intimacy - the long takes made you forget that the what was occurring on screen was not in real time - and many moments were genuinely funny. The light in the movie was quite beautiful - especially Delpy's hair in the wind and sunlight. Celine's character annoyed me a bit - the way she talked about herself seemed a bit narcissist. But there is a point where she completely breaks down - and I found myself thinking - how true, how very, very, true - i found myself saying the same irrational shit. Anyway it's a bit idealistic - but that's what films are for - the beautiful fantasy. Ethan Hawke looks a bit like a wolf, albeit an attractive wolf.

Photos

I lost the last roll of film i took in Israel. You know how some tribes believe that taking someone's picture is liking taking a part of their soul(or maybe it's some clever tv writer who came up with this and now everyone just repeats it to same clever and poignant)? Well losing a roll of film is losing a little piece of you soul as well. Or at least shared memories.

Do People Actually Hear What They Are Cheering For?

"Hamid Dabashi delivered an incendiary diatribe, propelled by hatred of Israel and the United States - not just the current government, but the culture in general - that seemed out of place in this program. Yet it drew a standing ovation."

That little blurb came from today's NYT article reviewing an "artistic" protest against the RNC. Interesting, i am all for voicing one's opinions - but this just shows you how mindless people can get - i can understand disagreeing and being angry with Bush, but this is just people not listening and being mindless idiots.
Disgusting, especially with what happened in Israel yesterday - the picture give you shivers. I am glad Israel is doing something about it. (Sort off).