How To Tell You're Living In A Rich Suburb Where There's Nothing For Cops To Do

From my town newpaper's Police Blotter:

Hangun turns out to be cell phone, baked goods: A broken down car with two men inside who had a cell phone. The police searched the car and found, wait for it - pastries and "other bread products." I didn't know cell phones and muffins resembled guns. The people in my town are way too paranoid.

Irate customer reportedly kicks bank door: Guy got angry in Bank of Ameirca (shitty bank in my humble opinion) and kicks the door and then agrees to pay for the damages. Someone get the national guard, there was physical violence done to a door.

Teen party broken up: Just what it sounds like and the little buggers weren't even drinking. "...police dtermined that they were all capable of operating a motor vechile."

Harsh words at Dunkin Donuts: Some argument about a broken pay box. The owner and the guy delivering papers swore at each other. Serioulsy the lamest reason to call the police.

Man takes call from Mars: A man received prank calls. One of the calls included the enlightened remark, "I'm from Mars, and we are going to destroy earth." Um, if you're going to prank call someone at least make it funny.

Humor Me

This pretty much sums up my taste in humor, i like (sexual) wity one liners. However, due to some recent company i've been keeping (ahem DS), i think my humor is evolving or as some might say devolving.

the Wit
(60% dark, 21% spontaneous, 27% vulgar) your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're
probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean you're
pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the
Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor
and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the
perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor
takes the most effort to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my
opinion.

Also, you probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

Via Gib "The Ham"

My Kind Of Love Advice

Tim Harford writes a sort of Dear Abbey column for the Financial Times. The column, Dear Economist, approaches everyday problems and quaeries from the point of the economics point of view, often Hartfort quotes famous economists and nobel prize laureates in his explanation why people aren't having enough sex (my personal favorite).
Here's how the column describes itself:

The 'Dear Economist' column in the Financial Times answers readers' personal problems with the tools of Adam Smith. Logo copyright Financial Times Ltd 2005

The only drawback to this blog is that it's a big tease. In order to read the columns in full one must register at FT for a price. Still i find the concept refreshing, enjoyable, and practical. I need to listen to Mr. Harford more often.

A Stiff Drink And Billie Holiday

I got into a pretty serious accident today. Rear ended from behind, car completely wrecked. I could have been seriously hurt but right now i'm doing okay and more shocked than hurt physicaly. Anyway, when i encounter situations where everything is out of my control and things seem....well really crappy. It seems it's good to turn to Billie and little bit of vodka for some self medication. Except i think i'll be skipping the vodka tonight since i'm taking heavy duty doses of motrin. So i guess it's early to bed for me and i'll resume blogging in a few days. Over and out,
Petitedov.

Update: Thanks guys for the get well wishes aka internet teddy bears, it made me feel a lot better. I'm still a bit out of it and although my neck and back have been hurting all day it's not as bad as it could be. I went to see a doctor and was told i'll need prolonged physical therapy, but that was to be expected. I also went to say goodbye (and take some photos) of my now deceased little Honda. So that's the news for now. If this headache will go away and i'll catch on my homework i promise to write a semi-coherent post. Again, thanks for the concern.
P.S. Thanks Candy for calling, my mother was quite confused. : )

My Feelings On School

Not So Random Thought

I find it somewhat devastating that i have been to more funerals than weddings. And on a side note, i very much dislike the whole ritual of the reception after the funeral. Where people scarf down food while trying to politely avoid the bereaved. Something about catered food and people being insensitive assholes makes me sad beyond belief.

British Jihad

I had a disagreement with a friend of mine about Islam and its connection to terrorism that we are experiencing today. Here's a great program that i haven't listened to completely but plan to. Really worth checking out. British Jihad

Part 3,487 of Terrorism In Israel Is Deserved

As Gib points out once a douchebag always a douchebag.

A Bee In Her Bonnet Lap

My friend was driving with open windows the other day when bee came flying through the window and nestled itself on her colorful skirt right between her legs. I had to take a picture of the randomness of this bee. What is it with me and taking pictures of my friends and their crotch areas!? I just can't help it seems.

Potter Mania

They are everywhere. It almost gotten so bad that i am thankful to see someone read a trashy romance novel instead of the sixth installement of Potter's adventures. Riding on the bus i had the guy in front of me, the girl next to me, and another girl behind me reading the same book.
Don't get me wrong, i like Harry Potter. I'm not a super-duper fan that can rattle off intircate personal histories of each character, but i'll be looking forward to stealing my sister's copy in the near future. But people come on....
Then again it's nice to see a crazed pop-culture trend involve a book. I would just like to see it happen more often and with better books. Plus i'm annoyed that i know who died (shakes fist at the girl next to me on the train!)

Quizes: When One Is Too Lazy To Actually Blog

Guess I know which drug to try next:


You are Heroin (aka: smack, dope, brown sugar...).
You are the most dangerous drug between all
other kinds. You are bold, deep, dark,
mysterious, have your own world. You are
classified as class (A) illegal drugs.


What kind of Drugs are you? and how that reflect your personality?
brought to you by Quizilla


via Dawn

So Called It Two Weeks Ago

Ha!

Think Of The Possibilities

Moscow would have been quite a sight if these plans were ever actually realized.




via Doorknob

Moments In Dumb Advertisement

Um, as i recall Elvis died of a HEART ATTACK! Don't really want to emulate the diet of man whose eating habits were probably one of the leading causes for his DEATH! Oh and on a side note i think Peanut Butter is yummy.
For a funnier ad check out Murph's astute conundrum. Why IS the guy smiling so much!?

Still A Dork

While cleaning my room just now i was humming "So this is love" from Cinderella. Personally the king is my favorite character from the movie. Okay back to cleaning.

Dawn Blogging

I didn't even know it was Dawn's birthday today! Yesterday i was out with one of my closest friends and i saw this sign and thought of Dawn. Happy Birthday Dawn!

London

I don't know what to write. Except, that yet again the news has made me cry during the commute to work. I feel so horrible for the people in London who yesterday were celebrating the win of the Olympic bid and now are dealing with this catastrophe. I hope, though, England won't go the route of Spain and maybe once and for all the BBC will start to call terrorism for what it really is.

For The Man Who Has Everything:

Safe sex is fun and stylish with the Condom Box. (Via Thrillist).

This reminds me of my favorite story about condoms. When i was a wee freshman back in 2002 - i was (and still am) part of a group called T.R.I.B.E. a group that promoted Israel and Israeli culture to college students in the Boston area (by college students). So we were planning a Yom Hatzmot party which we labeled "Studio 54" since Israel was turning 54 years-old. At the time the second intefida was in full force and we were trying to help bring about a safer image of Israel. Anyway for a promotion material we as a group decided to give away condoms. Here's the slogan we came up with:
Israel
(Open the flap.)
It's Safe To Come
We thought it was brilliant (and actually other groups followed suit and copied our idea)
However, the next year the plan was vetoed when legitimate Jewish organizations found it a bit tasteless (prudes!). But for a year we had our glory and our condoms!

Movie Funk Hunk

Things are looking up in terms of movies this summer. None of the mainstream fare is grabbing (it rarely does) so it's nice to look forward to a little bit of eye candy from the independent sphere. I kind of fell in love (a little) with Yvan Attal (the French Israeli Actor/Director married to Serge Gainsbourg's daughter Charlotte) two years ago after seeing him in My Wife Is An Actress. He has a new movie coming out Happily Ever After which looks at least mildly entertaining. (Look a French movie without Attuiel or Depardiue!) It's nice excuse to see my faux crush.

Russian Exchange

I found this great comic strip via Karol. It's familiar and sweet. I read the whole thing in one sitting. I will only be in Russia to visit or as a tourist. I will never live there permanently. But it's great to see your culture appreciated and in such good hands.

I Don't Get It

I never understood those people who have a revolving door of friends. You know the type who you become "best friends" with. To only six months down the line have your calls and e-mails ignored, never returned without an explanation? I don't get it. Sure people grow tired of each other. But friends aren't the latest clothing accessory. You don't throw them out just because the season has changed and the fashion is different. Growing apart i understand, but serial friendships i don't.

In Other Movie News

Check out the new King Kong trailer. It looks fantastic. I wasn't expecting to even go to the movie - but the look of the movie is beautul and it had Jack Black in it, so come December i'll be going to see King Kong. Did i mention it looks amazing?

On a side note, i never expected Adrien Brody to have a broad sexy appeal. Even for me who likes dark-haired skinny guys he looked a little bit too angular. So it always surprises me when women swoon over him. Is it the Halle Barry kiss? Because seriously he looks like a geek in stylish clothing. Good thing i like geeks.

Movie Update

(I think this post is mainly for Marina! Hi!)

Today i'm planning on seeing this movie.

A two weeks ago while in New York i saw Heights with Jessica. Found it predictable and insipid (although nice to see a movie set in places i recognizes). It tries very hard to be deep and probe at the nature of observing one's life versus living one's life. But ultimately falls flat on its face with predictable plot points and dialogue. Big shocker someone's GAY and on top of it someone's CHEATING. Glenn Close is quite good as the uber-successful actress but the rest of the cast is quite flat. Elizabeth Banks reminded me of Parker Posey (as feetman78 noted) but not in a good way. More in a whiny - my life is perfect but i will pout through the whole movie kind of way.

The other film i saw was Apres Vous. A film i knew nothing about. I haven't been to a movie by myself in a long time. So when i found myself sad on a Thursday night on a whim i headed to my favorite cinema next town over and took the usual cure i used to administer to myself when i was upset - a late night movie alone. Daniel Auteuil, stars in the movie (seriously is there a contract someone sign that states that every exported movie from France star Daniel Autteuil or Gérard Depardieu. It's not a French movie without the two actors!) as ultra busyprofessionall waiter (only in France!) , Antoine, who saves Louis (played with expressive eyes by Jose Garcia) who is about to hang himself in the park. Surprisingly it's aromanticc comedy (that tries to be a black comedy but fails) with a lot of blood. Louis doesn't want to be saved but Antoine keeps insisting on helping Louis get a job, a place to stay, and the ex-girlfriend Louis almostcommittedd suicide over. Mostly it's painfull to watch Antoine twist and turn accommodating Louis - you don't understand why he is so accommodating and hell bent on ruining his life to help a stranger. Selfish acts disguised as selfless. At least the acting was good. But really not worth your time.

Things To Remember

This might be filed under too much information, so read at your own peril. Today i learned that if you wear a bathing suit first thing in the morning it's good to bring a bra and underwear. Otherwise your stuck walking commando for a couple of hours in a white skirt. Not fun at all.

I heart Israel

A great post about the connection to Israel from Jewlicious. My "aha" moment happend in a dark cave. A cave where Jews used harvest fertilizer from pigeons and later lived and resisted the Romans from. This probably should be a longer post, i'll get ot it later. But for now, Michael sort of touches on why Zionism for me will never be a dirty word. Enjoy the weekend - there's electricity in the air. Happy 4th of July weekend!

Say It Ain't So

Just when i was starting to like her and considering her the "cool" judge O'Connor retires. Dammit.